Choose Your Family
by precious-passenger
Summary: After an unfortunate encounter with a family member he hasn't seen for a long while, Kurt finds himself rethinking how he used to value those who should be considered his priority, his family. With Blaine's help they try to find someplace to be safe, feel safe. P.S. first fanfic. Don't know what I'm doing. Just a little patience would suffice
1. Chapter 1

A/N: so this is set in season 2 after "never been kissed". It's also my first fanfic. So show no mercy, but do show respect. I have no beta. Who'd beta my silly old writing? And I'm not native English speaker. So consider yourself warned for some very interesting sentences!

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

Blaine knew something was wrong with Kurt the moment he entered lima bean for their weekly coffee date (meeting, his mind corrected annoyingly). His posture in chair was stiff and his expression was more guarded than usual. Blaine was glad to notice the slight cheer in the boy's face as soon as Kurt saw him approach.

"Hey" said Blaine. And his hand instinctively reached to touch Kurt's out stretched one on the table he was immediately disappointed and concerned when Kurt jumped back and retrieved his hand back, though he tried to make up with smiling apologetically but his eyes returned to their sad gray color Blaine had witnessed earlier."What happened to you today? Or more likely "what did they do to you today?"" Blaine wanted to ask but he knew Kurt better. He would just change the subject and deny everything when confronted directly. So he just let it go and began to fall back to the pleasant weekly routine of talking with Kurt. they texted and called almost every day but Blaine would miss the excited way the boy moved his hands when he talked about how Finn's latest misadventures at home, that almost knocked out the coffee from his hands or the small chuckle and how it made his whole face and eyes light up after Blaine's long rendition of today's warbler practice which consisted of a very angry-where did you hide my gavel-Wes. That actually was the reason that he came late today. Wes wouldn't let them go until one of the freshmen's guiltily glanced at the piano when he was confronted mercilessly by Wes. Kurt's eyes just sparkled and laughed and Blaine couldn't help but join him too.

Blaine had to admit that he had a very serious crush on the boy and was staring almost dumbly at him. The mood was lightened and they were sipping their coffee. Which was why Blaine was caught by surprise when he heard Kurt's quiet and almost shy question:"Blaine, how did your family react when they found out you were gay?"

Blaine stumbled in his words as he began to answer."Well, they secretly believe that I'm going through a phase and only am following the trend. "

He continued angrily. "Scratch that, it's not secret belief at all. After a few weeks of not talking to me after I came out the first thing my dad told me was "after this whole gay fever passes you'll return to normal, son". "

Blaine mocked, scowling angrily at the bottom of his coffee cup. He looked up at Kurt and asked. "Why are you asking me this? You told me how amazingly your father took the news, last year. Is there a problem now?"

Kurt shook his head with a sad smile. "No, he still wins every "best dad" award it was ever made. It's just that.. My grandmother planned to visit us this week. Just, you know to meet Carole and have some nostalgic mother-in-law moments with my dad. "

A/N: I know, I know! It's short, but hear me out. This story is already finished. I just posted a part of it as first chapter because I wanted to get some feedback before starting to edit the rest. I am beyond nervous.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: and you thought I'd leave you with only 500 words to go by? Nah, I'm offended that even such thought entered your mind. I want to say a few words and then on with the story.

Last year everything was therapyfor me. Dealing completely alone with shit does that to you. Now this is ,I believe, the final step I have to do for myself, and then I'll leave it to professionals to dissect my mind how it pleases them. This is the final step in jumping off the cliff. For a lot of reasons I won't go into this moment, having it published and witnessed helps a lot. So thank you, for staying.

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

_Previously on Choose your family:_

_It's just that.. My grandmother planned to visit us this week. Just, you know to meet Carole and have some nostalgic mother-in-law moments with my dad. _

"Did they not get along? Your grandmother and Carole?" Blaine asked, perplexed.

"Oh, no. On the contrary, they became friends quite quickly. It was kind of strange actually. Especially for Dad. It's not everyday when the mother of your late wife asks to meet your girlfriend. When she first called to announce that she'll be visiting us, we all thought that she was going to act all mean and freak over Carole and Finn."

Kurt continued, talking excitedly and moving his hands in the air as he tried to describe the madness that went on the Hudmel household."I mean, Carole was definitely the one freaking out the most. She just kept on scrubbing the house for days and trying to teach Finn how to have some manners when she arrives. I mean, my heart ached for Carole. You know nothing can get between Finn and his precious food, he's like a pre-programmed robot when he sees it, but it was fun to watch them bicker endlessly before they both reached a mutual understanding about compromising and just following some basic behaviors, like, you know, chewing with your mouth closed, or just generally no talking for Finn in kitchen table." Kurt chuckled at that. Quite pleased of that particular rule.

"And Carole compromised on some other things that were considered 'useless dapperness 'by Finn. Like, you know, asking for a fourth helping. "

And a fresh round of giggles stopped the conversation for a short while.

"And he won't admit it, not really, but my dad was nervous too. This was the first time we would be seeing her since…, well, since Mom's funeral". Unshed tears filled Kurt's eyes and Blaine was able to hold his hands without hearing him complain or shy away. Kurt took a deep breath to compose himself, _gosh he was so emotional today_, he thought and continued.

"But as it turned out there were no evil mother-in-law plans involved at all. She was just feeling lonely and wanted to see how her daughters' family was doing. The dinner after my grandmother arrived was emotional and heartwarming, even Finn was crying though he said that smoke got in his eyes. She basically gave them her blessing .Not that my dad needed any encouragement, because I have a feeling that he's going to propose to Carole soon. She also asked to stay in touch with the family.".

The happy and peaceful look on Kurt darkened then as he remembered something. His tone became cold and distant.

"And yeah, she definitely loved Finn."

Blaine felt like they were coming close to the real reason why Kurt was so tense today. It was just difficult to get him open up. He usually brushed off even the most offensive and rude treatments he had been on the receiving end of. It was one of the many things Blaine admired about Kurt , the massive amount of strength and courage he used everyday , but sometimes it seemed that he didn't know what to do about his emotions when they got the best of him, all he did was just keep closing off and shutting down. More often than not he felt that Kurt had been tip-toeing around the subject that made him uneasy and needed a little push in the right direction to actually let it out. And Blaine was proud to admit, he was one of the few people in Kurt's life who actually had the privilege to get to know the inner working of the mind that is Kurt Hummel's'.

"So I understand from what you're saying that you were jealous of him. You know that your grandmother may just be trying to get Finn to warm up to her and accept her. It's completely natural."

Blaine sensed something very similar to anger flash through Kurt's eyes and felt him retract his hands from his own. "You don't get, do you? It's not about some silly talk they shared and how she babied him or the fact that Finn kept shoveling down all the food she brought from airport, a very unhealthy and greasy food, I have to add. The problem is my own grandmother; the one I've been idolizing since I was a little kid can't stand to look at me anymore, because I'm not the perfect grandson she would expect".

He hadn't ever seen Kurt like that. It seemed like he was trying so hard to just keep himself together, or was just on the edge of clawing through his hair and mess that immaculate and complicated hair-do. He felt pretty sure that if they were alone, Kurt would be walking around the room franticly, just like a trapped animal.

"Hey" he tried to calm him down. But Kurt wouldn't look at him in the eye.

"She's the only thing I have left of my mother, Blaine, the only real link." He let out a dark, humorless laugh that actually sent a chill to Blaine's body "And of course Finn had to be the one she preferred more."

"Now come on Kurt, don't be jealous, this doesn't mean she loves you any less".

As soon as the sentence was out of Blaine's mouth Kurt actually jumped up from his seat and looked like he might just start pacing the floor. But just a second later it appeared that he remembered that they were in the middle of a coffee shop and with a practiced ease collected himself in a matter of seconds and just sat there staring at nothing. His tone was icy when he replied.

"I'm not five years old, Blaine, so stop treating me like one."

"Then just tell me what's bothering you, Kurt, talk to me. Don't shut me off and throw me in loops".

"Ok" came a quiet reply from the boy. Blaine found it interesting to see this side of Kurt. Unlike the diva-ish and confident side of him that shined through with sassy gestures and funny snarks, when he was vulnerable he became the shyest of people, needed constant reassurance. Kurt himself didn't like to be that exposed to people, but Blaine knew that it was necessary to just lift off all the bravado and let the scared little boy hiding behind it breathe for a while.

"I'd fixed my room so she would be staying there. Because mine was the cleanest and most organized out of all others and I would just be sleeping in Finn's room while she was here" Kurt replied brokenly, sounding defeated and tired and Blaine hated to see him like this.

"She didn't sleep on any of it, Blaine. Not one of them. She had packed her own blanket and pillow and used them instead of mine. She actually threw another blanket on my mattress so she wouldn't even touch the bed I'd used. She didn't hug me or even acted like I was in the room."

"You know she said that Finn would be a good influence on me and when I went to laundry room to get my clothes from washer, they were all gone"

"She left this morning, only staying two days instead of the week she planned" Kurt looked miserable. "You know why she left Blaine?" Blaine was speechless. "Because I confronted her, just like you said, do you remember Blaine, what you told me?"

What happened next was what both boys were expecting but neither were actually ready for it. Kurt suddenly burst into tears. He was sobbing in the middle of a very busy cafeteria, when all that noise reminds you even more how much alone you really are.

Kurt just curled in a ball in his seat, refusing to move one bit from his posture.

Blaine could only catch snippets of what he was saying through his sobs. It was the single most terrifying thing Blaine had experienced since Sadie Hawkins dance. The feeling that you couldn't do anything but watch as the scene unfolds.

"I'm so sorry Blaine, I'm all mope-y, I just can't take it anymore".

"The very definition of a train-wreck, pathetic".

"Stop crying".

"Why can't I be ordinary and just blend in?"

"She doesn't love me anymore" Kurt hiccupped.

"She'd be ashamed of me now".

"That's why she left, because she couldn't stand to look at me anymore."

"I disappointed her".

A feeling of dread washed over him as he began to finally understand what Kurt was trying to tell him all this time without saying it.

"Kurt, look at me. Who doesn't love you anymore? Who's ashamed of you?"

A long silence followed which Kurt looked up at him with tear-filled eyes and answered.

"My Mom".

Stupid, stupid, Blaine chanted to himself. He should've been paying more attention to where their conversation was going. It's not about some childish sibling rivalry. Kurt is too kind and compassionate to envy Finn, maybe he did for a while but he wouldn't be crying his eyes out in here because of that. Unlike him and Cooper who sometimes fight like they were kids. Well, Blaine was a kid, Cooper was still in his early teens and even then Blaine's heart would simultaneously break and fill with anger when he'd hear how nobody saw his silly attempts to just win over everyone's heart like his brother would effortlessly would and only pay attention to his brother's inevitable success.

Blaine was furious at himself for not being a good friend and blabbing like an idiot, knowing it was upsetting Kurt even more, but not knowing when he went too far.

"Now, snap out of it Blaine Anderson", he thought, "And fix your mess".

A/N: this is starting to become a hell of an angst, people! Good thing that we have only about one or two chapters left. I mean it is basically a one- shot that I'm trying to write in chapters. Because let's face it, I'm probably not able to write a real multi-chapter any time soon.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: One thing is for sure, I'll never complain again that a story or a chapter doesn't have many words and I recommend those who experienced the same problem to write a story themselves. It's a great eye-opening experience.

Also this is for a person who I respect a lot and has pushed me to write this for a long while without even realizing it. I owe you one, _WasteNoTime_ .

And while I'm still speaking of great eye opening experiences may I recommend one more thing? She's been writing this very amazing fic _With No Moonlight _that's impossible not to love. So go ahead and check it out _after_ reading this chapter.

_Previously on Choose your family:_

"_Now, snap out of it Blaine Anderson", he thought, "And fix your mess". _

Blaine sat there for a few moments, watching helplessly as Kurt tried to compose himself, to no avail. He couldn't even form coherent sentences anymore. He could see that Kurt was stuck. Blaine finally decided to go get a refill for their coffees, seeing that Kurt was becoming more troubled by his presence to process the thought of calming down. As heartbreaking as it seemed, letting him cry was the best he could offer right now.

Obviously he's been holding all these emotions for quite a while now.

He put his hand on Kurt's arm and scooted closer in his chair so he could inform him that he'll be back in a second with coffee. He received a shaky nod and a sad, watery smile.

As Blaine was heading for the line he let his mind begin dealing with all the information Kurt has given him. He decided that he made a good decision to let Kurt be alone, at least for now. The truth couldn't be sugar-coated anymore with offers of lunches, cuddles or movies to cheer him up, like he had done after Karofsky's abuse. The emotional hurt seemed too raw for that. But it was absolutely Kurt's decision how this meeting would continue.

Blaine couldn't help trying to imagine Kurt's grandmother, the cause of all this mess. He imagined an adorable old lady with gray hair and Kurt's eyes. His heart broke for the boy as he added the sharp tongue to his mental image. He shook his head as he paid for the coffee to get the thoughts out of his head.

He began to panic a little when he found their table empty but then saw Kurt exiting the bathroom just then, looking much calmer, and with a soft smile for him. He greeted him with the coffee.

"Do you want to leave?" He muttered, providing the Kurt the option to avoid talking if he wasn't up for it.

"No, It's fine. I'm fine." Kurt smiled again, accepting the coffee with a muttered "thank you" and both their hands lingered on the coffee cup a second too long.

A shy silence fell upon them for a few moments as they drank the warm coffee. Blaine cleared his throat and began.

"So let me see if I got this straight. Your grandmother , the very one who you haven't seen in what, eight years , suddenly decides to show up, stay for like two days and during those two days she managed to make you feel .. like this?"  
"That summed it up pretty well, mister" Kurt laughed.

"Seriously Kurt, tell me what happened. Don't act like it doesn't bother you."

The laughter quickly died on Kurt's lips. "Guess what, Blaine? It doesn't matter how I act about it. It wouldn't get any better. Just as it didn't matter for my grandmother that I practically grew up in her house. I guess at that time she just found it funny for a kid who kept asking for bits and pieces of clothes and permission to use the sewing machine instead of running around with kids. Sometimes my mother would join me there too."

"You don't really believe that she wouldn't have loved you now, do you? Your mother, I mean."

"No, I don't. But it's not that hard to imagine how it would be after that shouting match of a fight with my grandmother. I mean most of what she said to me was nothing compared to all the crap I go through school daily. Some were almost comical, telling me how I'd burn in hell. She obviously wasn't updated about my Atheist status .The clothes she had most likely thrown away were from last season and I was planning to sell them sooner or later. But it still hurts. I can't bring myself to just not feel or care at this much hate from someone I used to look up to."

"I know exactly what you mean. When I came out everyone I knew of either turned their back on me or trying to convince me that I was wrong."

"You know Blaine, this isn't a contest for "who's got the worst life". As heartwarming as you having problem sounds it doesn't help making mine less insignificant or hurtful".

Blaine looked at him wide-eyed, somehow offended. Kurt also stopped talking, seeming shocked at what he said. He apologized immediately.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what came over me."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. "I wasn't trying to make you feel like your problems don't matter. I was just trying to show that you weren't alone. I thought that's what you wanted given the fact earlier you asked me about it."

"I know. You're right. Please please please forgive me?"

"Alright, apology accepted."

"So you didn't have anyone to support you then, when you found out you were gay?" Kurt continued shyly, wordlessly asking Blaine to continue his story despite his rude interruption.

Blaine smiled at him to show that he really was forgiven for his outburst. He couldn't really blame him. If he hadn't discovered boxing and doing various sports as a way of letting his anger out, he would be just as Kurt had acted every single time of the day.  
"Yeah. I mean, when I was still a kid each time the television would show a program about gay-rights or just showed two men or women show any kinds of feelings that weren't platonic friendship, they would just shake their head, make these disgusted noises and change the channel. The kids in school weren't any better. I was quite popular at my old school before I came out so I was friends with almost everyone and none showed any compassion."

"You know what the icing on the cake was? That when I grew old enough to realize I am indeed one of those people on television that my parents hated so much".

Blaine recalled that period of his life vividly. When he would crush on some boys in his class during the school year. When he couldn't really get what all these fuss about girls was. When his best friend who he'd been seriously crushing on hugged him goodbye and his heart was beating too rapidly that his friend asked him about it and his face so flushed that he thanked his lucky stars that it was almost dark in the street. As he stuttered a silly excuse that he's just so excited for school tomorrow and he'd been walking rather quickly, that's when he began to really see the truth about himself.

"When I was finally sure and struggling to accept that I am in fact gay, they actually apologized to me every time the television showed something or a discussion would start that in their idea would surely corrupt my innocent mind. I've never felt so guilty or confused as I did then."

Blaine was surprised to find some traitor tears sliding down on his cheek.

"You'll never know how lucky you are Kurt to have a parent who understands you. I mean, for a long while, after I came out, I had this strict, almost comical bonding session with my dad that consisted of things that he considered the manly stuff a boy should do and wasn't allowed to sing or play musical instruments."

Blaine shook his hand at the memory. While other boys in his age hid their porn and dirty magazines he was hiding his favorite CDs, listening to them when his father wasn't home pretending he was playing guitar or piano.

"I know some lesbian friends of mine whose parents forbid them to cut their hair and were forced to stop hanging with the boys, wear skirts and over-girly clothes. Also there are some other gay or bisexual guys in Dalton that receive even more sad treatments from their parents. Many of their parents, and I suspect mine too, use Dalton as a way of getting rid of them. So they wouldn't be forced to look at the disappointment of the son they have as often."

Kurt felt a surge of anger coursing in his body, listening to Blaine talk about that. He couldn't stand that someone like Blaine, who was just perfect and so polite, be treated like that. He couldn't stand the thought of some nameless face , not knowing how great their son is.

"You know how many of them just gave up and decided to just get a boyfriend or girlfriend their family approved to just be able to relax in their own homes until they got out of it. We're not a program with a glitch that they're trying over and over again to fix us. It's one thing to have a problem with who we are, but to think of changing it. That's not what a family should do. We're human, Kurt. Just like any one of them. We grew up with them. Had the same food and house they had. Laughed at the same jokes. Yet we're treated like a bunch of aliens invading their lives".

Kurt felt a flutter in his stomach every time Blaine said "we" in his sentences. It made him feel like he finally belonged in a group. Of course with New Directions he also felt it. But with Blaine, it seemed effortless. He didn't have to constantly worry that what he said would accidently cause Blaine to run away screaming, like he felt sometimes when talking to the boys in the group.

He mentioned this to Blaine.

"I mean sure, they were better than my last group of girl friends in middle school who thought I would be stealing their boyfriends from them and just shooed me away from their group, but this feels good "

And the butterflies danced wildly in his stomach at the tired and grateful smile he received. Now all the hurt was out and they felt so much closer to each other in the past hours. I was wrong, Kurt thought. Knowing that he wasn't alone, it helped a great deal. He didn't feel as broken as he felt when he left the house.

"So, now what?" Blaine asked him. "What are you planning to do about all this?"

A/N: Next chapter which will be the last one will most likely be published some time tomorrow. I wanted to explain a bit about the title. I didn't know what to name it, the only thing I did know was I didn't want it to be a part of a song. Yeah I'm original like that ;) so I googled (how very original of me) some quotes about family. And one of the things that I'm most talented in is changing the lyrics or quotes to suit my mood or situation. My favorite example is Katy Perry's "You're not original, just a waste of space". So I found out one that began with "you can't choose your family" and then I thought to myself "Hey, what if you can?" and there you are the title:_ Choose your family. _

Yeah, I think a lot more than it is necessary. :D


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So this is it guys. Without any further ado, I present you the final part. I'm sure you noticed there's always two authors note in each part. So don't forget to check out the one at the bottom of the page too.

_Previously on Choose your family:_

"_So, now what?" Blaine asked him. "What are you planning to do about all this?"_

"What do you mean?" Kurt raised his eyebrow. "Is there anything to be done? She told me that she had booked an earlier flight yesterday and is staying in a hotel. Tonight she'll be gone. Hopefully for at least another eight years."

Blaine tried again. "Have you at least told your dad about it? What if she decided to visit again?"

"Of course I didn't tell him. What would I say? that my family is coming apart because of me? The only thing I can rely on is that she'd be so repulsed by me that she wouldn't visit again."

He laughed darkly. Hating his grandmother and to some degree hating himself.

"Believe me, I'm more than aware of how heartbreakingly cruel people can get. But family is supposed to be the rock that you can lean on when those people try to beat you down. When your own rock is the one shaking you to your core, what are you supposed to do? "

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand tightly between his own. And softly replied.

"Find another rock."

Kurt threw his head back and laughed.

"No, I'm serious". Blaine shook his shoulder to stop his laughter. "Who says that we should only rely on family's support? If they don't respect you and accept you, they don't deserve you. It's not even about being gay, it could be anything else, because your whole being doesn't revolve around whether you're gay or not. If you can't find comfort in your own home you shouldn't give up on happiness and acceptance. You have all these awesome friends who have your back. You'll make even better ones when you leave this shit - hole. And you'll always have me."

"You are fabulous, Blaine Anderson."

Blaine felt himself blush and looked down.

"Do you want to leave and hit the mall?"

"God yes, my ass hurts like…I mean, sure, yeah."

As the boys stood up, smiling to each other like two crazy people, Blaine felt the gazes of other costumers on them, surely curious about the emotional state both boys were in, given that in the past two hours they more or less broke down at some point. Let them stare, Blaine thought somehow giddily, feeling a pang in his chest that warmed all his body, making him feel like he was floating. Like in that moment there was nothing that would ever stop him. He wanted to just stand up there and hug Kurt like he wouldn't, couldn't, let go. Kiss him in the middle of McKinley's courtyard and dance with him when junior prom arrived. This was the first time he was feeling so strong about something since he arrived at Dalton and it wasn't just because he was madly in love with Kurt, _whoa! Where did __**that **__come from?!_, but he just wanted to show the world that no matter what they thought, said or did, he was Blaine Devon Anderson, a gay teenager, being gay was not all of his personality, and he was going to give himself a chance to be happy. Either with his current family, or most likely making a beautiful one himself. And he was going to show this new revelation to this beautiful boy sitting across from him..

Even if it was the last thing he did.

A/N: I'm writing this final note to thank everyone who has seen, followed, liked and reviewed this. Since I started writing this fic, I've been feeling more alive than I did in a year. Breathing is easier now. Growing up and living in a homophobic and generally disagreeable society has been taking its toll on me for a while. And the characters were somewhat telling my story. I've more or less experienced the general degrading events I mentioned in this story from every other person in my life specially when I semi came out to some, and crawled back in closet in record time.

I wish I could tell that there's a happy ending but the only thing I can offer is a cold "The End".

~Anne


End file.
